Monday, May 30, 2011

Marital Therapy

Marriage is one of the biggest gambles of life. If the gamble works, adjustment and compromise becomes the life mantra and if it doesn’t work then divorce or extramarital affairs are the outcome. If the marriage works, it doesn’t mean it is perfect. Perfect marriage is an illusion. It happens only in Mills and Boons novels. Once the honeymoon period is over, the curtain from the eyes is lifted and a clearer picture emerges. The same spouse who seemed to be carved out with utmost perfection becomes a bundle of imperfections. Fights, arguments, negative feelings & cribbing become a rule rather than an exception. If you feel that now nothing can happen and separation is the answer, think again. If love and motivation to stay together exists and no present extra marital affairs and violence or gross untreatable mental illness exists in either of the partner hope exists.


Marital therapy is the treatment of choice when such a problem becomes difficult to solve. The problem is approached in a step wise manner through a series of sessions. These are paced as per the problems in a professional and scientific manner. Few tips are given below.

No one is 100% bad or good. If there are lacunae within your partner, there must be something good as well. You can keep concentrating on the negatives and keep feeling worse but if there is anything positive, think about it which will give at least a ray of hope to move on.

Whenever feeling low, think of all the happy memories and the good times you spent together which will not only lift away the despair but also will help you in thinking clearly.

Years of marriage results in blame game whereby responsibility for anything that has gone wrong is passed on to the other partner. Shedding away the responsibility is the easiest thing to do and takes the guilt away as well. Think again. Attacking your partner will always result in defensive reaction by the other partner, the result of which will always be a fight.

Discuss issues with your partner, things that make you happy or sad, what are your expectations, how can this alliance be improved. Communication very important; which should be done in the right fashion. If you don’t talk; you can’t talk your way out.

Realise your own mistakes and how you rectify them. Change has to be brought in both the partners so why not start from your own self. Write down your positives and negatives and do the same for your partner as well.

Imagine how it would be like to be married to your own self. Then you might be able to understand the position of your spouse better. It would also help you in understanding your own self.

Long term marriages work on strengths and not weaknesses. Concentrate on the strengths of your partner and build upon it. Concentrate your energies in constructive things around you which give you happiness.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there,

    How is your marriage going? Be honest…how is it ACTUALLY going?

    If you’re reading this e-mail right now, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad, that you feel like your world is falling apart.

    You feel like all the passion, the love, and romance have completely faded.

    You feel like you and your wife can’t stop yelling at each other.

    And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.

    But you’re wrong.

    You CAN save your marriage — even if your wife says she wants to get a divorce. You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.

    If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and watch this quick video that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world:

    =>Save Your Marriage Now (VIDEO)<=

    In this video, you’ll learn the three critical mistakes that most couples commit that rip marriages apart. Most couples will never learn how to fix these three simple mistakes.

    You’ll also learn a simple, proven “Marriage Saving” method that makes marriage counsellors look like kindergarten teachers.

    So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to watch this quick video:

    Make Your Wife Adore You Again ==> Fix Your Marriage – Start Making HAPPY Memories<=

    You’ve got nothing to lose.

    All the best,

    -[[Ana]]-

    PS. Just take 3 mins to watch the video.. if you don’t, you may miss the one tip that could save your marriage. Click here: =>Transform Your Marriage in Minutes<=

    ReplyDelete