Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Unravelling Adolescence Conflicts: Few Facts

The Growing Years
The teenage years can be a source of emotional trauma for whole of the family. A void can grow between parents and their children during adolescence. Why should many of the families land into trouble?
It's a time of rapid physical development and deep emotional changes. These are exciting, but can also be confusing and uncomfortable for child and parent alike.
The process of rapid physical changes in adolescence is called puberty. The hormone changes responsible actually begin some years earlier and may produce periods of moodiness and restlessness.
Besides rapid physical growth and these changes include
For girls: menstrual periods, breast development, growth of under-arm, body and pubic hair.
For boys: voice becoming deeper, growth of body and pubic hair, facial hair, erections and nocturnal emissions.
Teenagers may sleep more as growth and development uses a lot of energy
Parents become less important in their children's eyes as their life outside the family develops.
Parents often feel rejected, and in a sense they are. But this is often necessary for young people to develop their own identity. In spite of the differences and arguments the children will usually think a lot of the parents.

Behavioural Problems in Adolescence
Teenagers and their parents complain about each other's behaviour. Parents often feel they have lost any sort of control or influence over their child.
Adolescents want their parents to be clear and consistent about rules and boundaries, but at the same time may resent any restrictions on their growing freedom and ability to decide for themselves.
Young people can crave excitement in a way that most adults find difficult to understand - and exciting activities may be dangerous.
Disagreements are common and normal, but when to conserned? As a general rule, the chances of children being at risk of getting into trouble are more if their parents don't know where they are. So, try to keep a track of what the children want and where they are going to spend their time
School Refusal can be due to:
  1. difficulties in separating from parents
  2. being perfectionist, and becoming depressed because they can't do as well as they would want to disturbed family life, with early separation from or death of parent.
  3. an established pattern which may have started at primary school. Such children often have physical symptoms, such as headache or stomach-ache.
  4. Bullying can also cause all of the above. Most young people do not break the law, but those who do are usually boys. 
Many adolescents diet. Fortunately, few will develop serious eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia. However, these are more likely to occur in those who take up serious dieting, think very little of themselves, are under stress and who have been over-weight as a child.
Many teenagers experiment with alcohol and illegal drugs. Regular use of drugs or alcohol is much less common.
Adolescence has often been projected as bad time. However, the scenario is not as bad and most teenagers actually like their parents and feel that they get on well with them.
It is a time when the process of growing up can help people to make positive changes, and to put the problems of the past behind them.
It is not just a difficult stage, although it can feel very much like it at times. The anxiety experienced by parents is not one sided. Periods of uncertainty, turmoil and unhappiness are also experienced by the adolescent.
Difficult times come and go, but most adolescents don't develop serious problems. It's worth remembering this when things are difficult.
Parents may sometimes start to feel that they have failed. But still they continue to play a crucial part in their children's lives. Helping the children grow through adolescence can be profoundly satisfying.


  1. So great posts! A conflict between parents and growing children is a common problem. I, personally had a disciplinary trouble to my oldest since he's now turning 18 and he thinks so matured. He's not taking my advises anymore. Very hardheaded! Thanks for tips, anyway. linden method

  2. Nice! I can relate to this article and I believe other readers too for we all undergone in this stage. And as a parent right now, I had experience the difficulty of growing up a child to a better person but thanks God I still manage to do it. Xtreme NO

  3. Thanks Eric and Gecherms, It may be a difficult phase for some but if worth enduring, Things usually fall in place